Tips To Becoming More Patient

Unfortunately, patience is not always rewarded. You will not win a million dollars because you control yourself and are not rude to your boss. But you will not be fired and will feel your strength because you can keep yourself in hand. Still, to stick to the job where the boss is dull or not - this is the question.

Patience is not resignation or inability to resist problems. Patience is self-restraint, the will to victory, and the ability to wait and to accept the world as it is. Patience is skill to hope. It has nothing to do with idleness and passivity, and each new life phase broadens the limits of our patience. The thought that we need to just wait a bit and everything will be all right is an illusion. It only seems that your raise will immediately make you happy or that as soon as your children grow a bit you will be able to pay more attention to yourself. In reality, miraculous changes do not happen. Having achieved something, you realize that the real happiness is still to come, and you again have to make a goal and to press towards it – persistently and patiently. Patience is made of several skills.

The first and the main skill - an ability to divide a big aim into small ones and to move ahead step by step. You will find this advice in any book with the word “Success” on the cover. But there you will not read that the main problem is to aim at this small goal with the same perseverance as the big one without breaking your fervor on the way.

The second skill – an ability to not to give up after the first attempt. Actually, it's determination that does it. Do not hang your head if the call to your would-be customer was not a success. Do not think that you are worse than anybody else if you were not hired. Do not believe that your ex was right calling you the most unbearable creature he had ever met. If at first you do not succeed, try, try, try again. You can stop trying only in one case – when you lose interest in your goal…and find a new one.

The third skill – an ability to do everything from beginning to end. Actually, perfectionism is a part of patience. To see how often you try to make everything perfect it is useful to step back and look at your work from the outside. Do this as impartially as if you evaluated the work of somebody else. In this case, your “super ego”, or your inner inspector comes to power. It accepts or rejects your work. One more thing: to play the role of a person whose opinion you value and to check your work one more time.

The fourth skill – an ability to wait. Let yourself wait without worrying. Do not try to foresee events and to imagine how your dreams come true. The highest point of patience skill is to wait without thinking about it. Then everything comes in time. There is something from oriental wisdom in this magic formula, and it can help to get around everyday civilization with its supersonic speeds and never-ending pressure from the outside.

7 ways to control anger

1. Put “a patient stone” into your pocket. It can be a round button or a ring. The main thing is that the object should be smooth and pleasant to touch. This is our secret bead. When you feel the outbreak is coming, touch the stone.
2. Count to five before speaking. Do not express in anger the things you will have to apologize for later. Count very slowly and each time take a deep breath. If you have counted to ten and haven’t calmed down, keep on counting.
3. Grade your irritation on a ten-point scale. From one to five – you are almost O.K. From six to eight – you are angry but able to control yourself. Nine or ten – outbreak is coming. What to do next? Nothing. While you were reflecting over your state you certainly calmed down a little.
4. Imagine that it happens with somebody else, not with you, that you observe the situation from the outside. How do debaters look like from this position? Focus on the details, especially on funny and absurd ones.
5. Ask yourself: “Are you still flying?” American pilots are taught to ask themselves this question in an extreme case to cope with panic. Ask yourself if you are on the verge of a catastrophe, if you are in danger. You are still flying - it means that things are not so bad as they seem to be.
6. Try meditation for the legs. When you are waiting for something for a long time and it irritates you, stand up straight and put your legs
   shoulder-width apart. Shift the body weight slowly to the left leg without
   pulling the feet away from the floor. Count to five and shift the body
   weight to the right leg.
   
   
7. Devote yourself to household chores: do housecleaning, cook, do the dishes, iron. It helps you to calm down because the result of your work
   is shown at once. It is a kind of meditation. Besides, nothing raises
   the spirits more than the view of clean windows and sparkling shelf
   doors.

7 ways to become patient

1. Drink less coffee. Black tea, coffee, cola, and chocolate contain caffeine that can be the reason for irritability.


2. Check your medicine chest. Increased irritability can be a side effect of some medicines and hormone contraceptives. If lately you lose your
   temper more often than usual without evident reasons, consult with your
   endocrinologist.


3. Look for the way out. Try to remove constant temper spots. It drives you crazy that your husband is constantly forgetting to close a tube
   of toothpaste? Buy tubes that do not have covers.


4. Say “no” to people. Often we lose our temper when we have to do what we do not want to do. But we agree because we cannot
   refuse. If you are too busy to help your colleague with a report or
   have no desire to watch the film your friend likes, just refuse.


5. Make up a rule of the last warning. It especially affects children well who try your patience. Arrange with them that after the last warning
   you will really get angry. So, when you say: “I warn you for the
   last time”, children have a choice – to stop being naughty
   or to prepare for the punishment.


6. Do not take too much upon yourself. You cannot make everybody be just like you wish. Your intentions are probably the best when you make
   your husband do morning exercises and your children practice music two
   hours a day. But finally they decide themselves. And everybody would
   be happy if you supported his or her decision instead of thrusting your
   own.


7. Accept that you are not always right. Of course, you are the best, but sometimes (very rarely, surely) your decision is not unique and
   other ways out are possible. If you learn to accept it, your nervous
   system will be healthier.

 

15 Tips for Becoming as Patient as Job

“Patience and fortitude conquer all things.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

In the Old Testament, the story of Job showed a very faithful man whose faith is put to test, and shows an extreme example of perseverance through suffering … but in my mind, whenever I read Job’s story, I am struck by the man’s supreme patience.

While living a very faithful and righteous life, he nevertheless endured one infliction after another without ever cursing God’s name. I think most of us would have lost our patience and become frustrated and angry much earlier in the story.

While Job’s patience is legendary, I believe that even the most impatient of us can learn to be more patient with practice.


Personally, patience is something I’ve been cultivating for a long time. And while I often fail, I believe I’ve progressed over the years, and things that used to get me hot and bothered now just float past me. I still get upset, of course, but not nearly as much as I used to.
Here are some tips that might help you become more patient, with practice:

1. Tally marks. This is the first strategy, if you have real problems with patience: start by simply keeping tally marks on a little sheet of paper every time you lose your patience. This is one of the most effective and important methods for controlling an impulse — by learning to become more aware of it. Once you become aware of your impulses, you can work out an alternative reaction.
2. Figure out your triggers. As you become more aware of losing your patience, pay close attention to the things that trigger you to lose that patience. Is it when your co-worker does something particularly irritating? When your spouse leaves dirty dishes in the sink? When your child doesn’t clean up her mess? Certain triggers will recur more frequently than others — these are the things you should focus on the most.
3. Deep breaths. When you first start to lose your patience, take a deep breath, and breathe out slowly. Then take another. And another. These three breaths will often do the trick, as your frustration will slowly melt away.
4. Count to 10. This one really works. When you feel yourself getting frustrated or angry, stop. Count slowly to 10 (you can do this in your head). When you’re done, most of the initial impulse to yell or do something out of frustration will go away. Combine this with the breathing tip for even more effectiveness.
5. Start small. Don’t try to become as patient as Job overnight. It won’t happen. Start with something small and manageable. Look for a trigger that only induces a mild impatience within you — not something that gets your blood boiling. Then focus on this, and forget the other triggers for now. Work on controlling your temper for that one trigger. If you can get this one under control, use what you learned to focus on the next small trigger. One at a time, and with practice, you’ll get there.
6. Take a time out. Often it’s best just to walk away for a few minutes. Take a break from the situation, just for 5-10 minutes, let yourself calm down, plan out your words and actions and solution, and then come back calm as a monk.
7. Remember what’s important. Sometimes we tend to get upset over little things. In the long run, these things tend not to matter, but in the heat of the moment, we might forget this. Stop yourself, and try to get things in perspective.
8. Keep practicing. Every time a situation stretches your patience to dangerous thinness, just think of it as an opportunity to practice your patience. Because that’s what it take to become patient — practice, practice, more practice, and even more practice. And then some more. And the more you practice, the better you’ll get. So cherish these wonderful opportunities to practice.
9. Visualize. This works best if you do it before the frustrating situation comes up. When you’re alone and in a quiet place. Visualize how you want to react the next time your trigger happens. How do you handle the situation? How do you look? What do you say? How does the other person react? How does it help your relationship, your life? Think about all these things, visualize the perfect situation, and then try to actually make that happen when the situation actually comes up.
10. Remember that things can take time. Nothing good happens right away. If you expect things to happen at the snap of your fingers, you’ll get impatient every time. Instead, realize that things will take time, and this realization can help your patience tremendously.
11. Teach. This is something that helps me a lot. I remember that no one is perfect, and that everyone has a lot to learn. Be patient, and teach others how to do things — even if you’ve tried before, it might be the 11th time when things click. And remember, none of us learn things on the first try. Find new ways to teach something, and you’re more likely to be successful.
12. Find healthy ways to relieve frustration. Frustration can build up like steam in a pressure cooker, and if you don’t relieve that steam, you’ll explode. So find ways to relieve that frustration in a healthy way. Punching a pillow, going outside to a place where you’re all alone and yelling, exercise, kickboxing … these are just a few examples. Once you get that frustration out of your system, you usually feel better.
13. Try meditation. You can’t meditate in the middle of a frustrating situation, usually, but often meditation can help you to learn to find a center of calm within yourself. Once you learn how to go to this calm place, you can go there when you begin to get angry. Meditation can also help you to be in the moment, instead of always wanting to get to the future, or instead of dwelling on the past and getting angry about it.
14. Just laugh. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that no one is perfect, that we should be enjoying this time with our loved ones, and that life should be fun — and funny. Smile, laugh, be happy. Doesn’t always work, but it’s good to remind yourself of this now and then.
15. Just love. Instead of reacting with anger, teach yourself to react with love. Your child spills something or has a messy room or breaks your family heirloom? Your spouse yells at you or is cranky after work? React with love. It’s the best solution.

“Genius is eternal patience.” - Michelangelo