Tips To Becoming More Patient

Unfortunately, patience is not always rewarded. You will not win a million dollars because you control yourself and are not rude to your boss. But you will not be fired and will feel your strength because you can keep yourself in hand. Still, to stick to the job where the boss is dull or not - this is the question.

Patience is not resignation or inability to resist problems. Patience is self-restraint, the will to victory, and the ability to wait and to accept the world as it is. Patience is skill to hope. It has nothing to do with idleness and passivity, and each new life phase broadens the limits of our patience. The thought that we need to just wait a bit and everything will be all right is an illusion. It only seems that your raise will immediately make you happy or that as soon as your children grow a bit you will be able to pay more attention to yourself. In reality, miraculous changes do not happen. Having achieved something, you realize that the real happiness is still to come, and you again have to make a goal and to press towards it – persistently and patiently. Patience is made of several skills.

The first and the main skill - an ability to divide a big aim into small ones and to move ahead step by step. You will find this advice in any book with the word “Success” on the cover. But there you will not read that the main problem is to aim at this small goal with the same perseverance as the big one without breaking your fervor on the way.

The second skill – an ability to not to give up after the first attempt. Actually, it's determination that does it. Do not hang your head if the call to your would-be customer was not a success. Do not think that you are worse than anybody else if you were not hired. Do not believe that your ex was right calling you the most unbearable creature he had ever met. If at first you do not succeed, try, try, try again. You can stop trying only in one case – when you lose interest in your goal…and find a new one.

The third skill – an ability to do everything from beginning to end. Actually, perfectionism is a part of patience. To see how often you try to make everything perfect it is useful to step back and look at your work from the outside. Do this as impartially as if you evaluated the work of somebody else. In this case, your “super ego”, or your inner inspector comes to power. It accepts or rejects your work. One more thing: to play the role of a person whose opinion you value and to check your work one more time.

The fourth skill – an ability to wait. Let yourself wait without worrying. Do not try to foresee events and to imagine how your dreams come true. The highest point of patience skill is to wait without thinking about it. Then everything comes in time. There is something from oriental wisdom in this magic formula, and it can help to get around everyday civilization with its supersonic speeds and never-ending pressure from the outside.

7 ways to control anger

1. Put “a patient stone” into your pocket. It can be a round button or a ring. The main thing is that the object should be smooth and pleasant to touch. This is our secret bead. When you feel the outbreak is coming, touch the stone.
2. Count to five before speaking. Do not express in anger the things you will have to apologize for later. Count very slowly and each time take a deep breath. If you have counted to ten and haven’t calmed down, keep on counting.
3. Grade your irritation on a ten-point scale. From one to five – you are almost O.K. From six to eight – you are angry but able to control yourself. Nine or ten – outbreak is coming. What to do next? Nothing. While you were reflecting over your state you certainly calmed down a little.
4. Imagine that it happens with somebody else, not with you, that you observe the situation from the outside. How do debaters look like from this position? Focus on the details, especially on funny and absurd ones.
5. Ask yourself: “Are you still flying?” American pilots are taught to ask themselves this question in an extreme case to cope with panic. Ask yourself if you are on the verge of a catastrophe, if you are in danger. You are still flying - it means that things are not so bad as they seem to be.
6. Try meditation for the legs. When you are waiting for something for a long time and it irritates you, stand up straight and put your legs
   shoulder-width apart. Shift the body weight slowly to the left leg without
   pulling the feet away from the floor. Count to five and shift the body
   weight to the right leg.
   
   
7. Devote yourself to household chores: do housecleaning, cook, do the dishes, iron. It helps you to calm down because the result of your work
   is shown at once. It is a kind of meditation. Besides, nothing raises
   the spirits more than the view of clean windows and sparkling shelf
   doors.

7 ways to become patient

1. Drink less coffee. Black tea, coffee, cola, and chocolate contain caffeine that can be the reason for irritability.


2. Check your medicine chest. Increased irritability can be a side effect of some medicines and hormone contraceptives. If lately you lose your
   temper more often than usual without evident reasons, consult with your
   endocrinologist.


3. Look for the way out. Try to remove constant temper spots. It drives you crazy that your husband is constantly forgetting to close a tube
   of toothpaste? Buy tubes that do not have covers.


4. Say “no” to people. Often we lose our temper when we have to do what we do not want to do. But we agree because we cannot
   refuse. If you are too busy to help your colleague with a report or
   have no desire to watch the film your friend likes, just refuse.


5. Make up a rule of the last warning. It especially affects children well who try your patience. Arrange with them that after the last warning
   you will really get angry. So, when you say: “I warn you for the
   last time”, children have a choice – to stop being naughty
   or to prepare for the punishment.


6. Do not take too much upon yourself. You cannot make everybody be just like you wish. Your intentions are probably the best when you make
   your husband do morning exercises and your children practice music two
   hours a day. But finally they decide themselves. And everybody would
   be happy if you supported his or her decision instead of thrusting your
   own.


7. Accept that you are not always right. Of course, you are the best, but sometimes (very rarely, surely) your decision is not unique and
   other ways out are possible. If you learn to accept it, your nervous
   system will be healthier.

 

15 Tips for Becoming as Patient as Job

“Patience and fortitude conquer all things.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

In the Old Testament, the story of Job showed a very faithful man whose faith is put to test, and shows an extreme example of perseverance through suffering … but in my mind, whenever I read Job’s story, I am struck by the man’s supreme patience.

While living a very faithful and righteous life, he nevertheless endured one infliction after another without ever cursing God’s name. I think most of us would have lost our patience and become frustrated and angry much earlier in the story.

While Job’s patience is legendary, I believe that even the most impatient of us can learn to be more patient with practice.


Personally, patience is something I’ve been cultivating for a long time. And while I often fail, I believe I’ve progressed over the years, and things that used to get me hot and bothered now just float past me. I still get upset, of course, but not nearly as much as I used to.
Here are some tips that might help you become more patient, with practice:

1. Tally marks. This is the first strategy, if you have real problems with patience: start by simply keeping tally marks on a little sheet of paper every time you lose your patience. This is one of the most effective and important methods for controlling an impulse — by learning to become more aware of it. Once you become aware of your impulses, you can work out an alternative reaction.
2. Figure out your triggers. As you become more aware of losing your patience, pay close attention to the things that trigger you to lose that patience. Is it when your co-worker does something particularly irritating? When your spouse leaves dirty dishes in the sink? When your child doesn’t clean up her mess? Certain triggers will recur more frequently than others — these are the things you should focus on the most.
3. Deep breaths. When you first start to lose your patience, take a deep breath, and breathe out slowly. Then take another. And another. These three breaths will often do the trick, as your frustration will slowly melt away.
4. Count to 10. This one really works. When you feel yourself getting frustrated or angry, stop. Count slowly to 10 (you can do this in your head). When you’re done, most of the initial impulse to yell or do something out of frustration will go away. Combine this with the breathing tip for even more effectiveness.
5. Start small. Don’t try to become as patient as Job overnight. It won’t happen. Start with something small and manageable. Look for a trigger that only induces a mild impatience within you — not something that gets your blood boiling. Then focus on this, and forget the other triggers for now. Work on controlling your temper for that one trigger. If you can get this one under control, use what you learned to focus on the next small trigger. One at a time, and with practice, you’ll get there.
6. Take a time out. Often it’s best just to walk away for a few minutes. Take a break from the situation, just for 5-10 minutes, let yourself calm down, plan out your words and actions and solution, and then come back calm as a monk.
7. Remember what’s important. Sometimes we tend to get upset over little things. In the long run, these things tend not to matter, but in the heat of the moment, we might forget this. Stop yourself, and try to get things in perspective.
8. Keep practicing. Every time a situation stretches your patience to dangerous thinness, just think of it as an opportunity to practice your patience. Because that’s what it take to become patient — practice, practice, more practice, and even more practice. And then some more. And the more you practice, the better you’ll get. So cherish these wonderful opportunities to practice.
9. Visualize. This works best if you do it before the frustrating situation comes up. When you’re alone and in a quiet place. Visualize how you want to react the next time your trigger happens. How do you handle the situation? How do you look? What do you say? How does the other person react? How does it help your relationship, your life? Think about all these things, visualize the perfect situation, and then try to actually make that happen when the situation actually comes up.
10. Remember that things can take time. Nothing good happens right away. If you expect things to happen at the snap of your fingers, you’ll get impatient every time. Instead, realize that things will take time, and this realization can help your patience tremendously.
11. Teach. This is something that helps me a lot. I remember that no one is perfect, and that everyone has a lot to learn. Be patient, and teach others how to do things — even if you’ve tried before, it might be the 11th time when things click. And remember, none of us learn things on the first try. Find new ways to teach something, and you’re more likely to be successful.
12. Find healthy ways to relieve frustration. Frustration can build up like steam in a pressure cooker, and if you don’t relieve that steam, you’ll explode. So find ways to relieve that frustration in a healthy way. Punching a pillow, going outside to a place where you’re all alone and yelling, exercise, kickboxing … these are just a few examples. Once you get that frustration out of your system, you usually feel better.
13. Try meditation. You can’t meditate in the middle of a frustrating situation, usually, but often meditation can help you to learn to find a center of calm within yourself. Once you learn how to go to this calm place, you can go there when you begin to get angry. Meditation can also help you to be in the moment, instead of always wanting to get to the future, or instead of dwelling on the past and getting angry about it.
14. Just laugh. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that no one is perfect, that we should be enjoying this time with our loved ones, and that life should be fun — and funny. Smile, laugh, be happy. Doesn’t always work, but it’s good to remind yourself of this now and then.
15. Just love. Instead of reacting with anger, teach yourself to react with love. Your child spills something or has a messy room or breaks your family heirloom? Your spouse yells at you or is cranky after work? React with love. It’s the best solution.

“Genius is eternal patience.” - Michelangelo

 

The Secret of Patience: How to Be Patient?

What it the secret to having patience? How can we become patient? Patience is a virtue… a very difficult virtue. It is one of the way to any success and also a key to happiness. Works need it, faith requires it, and love includes it. It is one important value to keep a relationship alive, to preserve hope, and even to stay alive. Patience promotes our self control and discipline. It also helps us to become resistant of anger and lying. How good is such a virtue! We must do our best to possess it and make it a part of our lives.

A patient person does not only easily get angered, but also does not easily give up. Patience is found in love. Without patience, a person cannot be in love. Patience is not only a virtue, but also a power. Without it, one cannot be strong and have a good life. Patience is light. With it, we can have understanding, gentleness and peacefulness.

Now, how can we become patient? We become impatient when we are already fully contaminated with the world’s negative energies such as hatred, vengeance and wickedness. These destructive forces are like the floating air that waits for their victims. When they land to us, they attack our good characters – our personal defenses. When our defenses weaken because of the prolonged assault, we become impatient – we cannot produce any patience anymore. To stay patient all the time and be abundant of patience, we must have the power of regeneration. This means we should renew our lives each day. We should forgive our trespasses every day. We should always extinguish the hatred before the end of the day. We shall do these things so that we will always have a new and fresh personality when we wake up each morning of all the days. The secret of patience is regeneration.

12 Ways to be More Patient at Work

The office can certainly be a stressful place. Deadlines. Phones ringing. Meetings. Just the normal routine is enough to raise your stress levels. But when you don’t have complete control of your project, well, you can quickly lose control of your emotions.

Patience is one of the hardest skills to master for any employee. Most jobs rely on at least some form of cooperation with co-workers and that’s where the problems fall. You’re fast and efficient. You’re ready to crunch those numbers and hand those monthly reports in. But you can’t. Not until Bill in accounting gives you his final numbers. And he’s two days late. Again. Sometimes, you just can’t take it anymore.

Whether it’s waiting on information from a co-worker or someone simply not understanding your directions even though you painfully explained the procedure to them umpteen times already, stress is a part of life. It seems to thrive quite well in an office environment too. But rather than getting all steamed up to the point you just can’t take it anymore, there are plenty of things you can do to calm the beast within.

Identifying your triggers is a great start. Realize what sets your impatience meter off and try to avoid those situations as best you can. That’s not always doable, though. So when you feel your patience slipping through your fingers, try some of these tactics:

1. Just breathe. Take some deep slow breaths, in and out. This will help slow your heart rate down and hopefully take your mind temporarily off your trigger.
2. Count to 10. Similar to deep breaths, this will slow you and your heart rate down, and more importantly clear your mind. If you’re really hot under the collar, count higher or do a few sets of 10.
3. Relax your shoulders. You can do this one standing up or right in your desk chair. Just raise your shoulders and hold for three seconds, then slowly drop them down. Repeat a number of times until you feel the tension leave your body.
4. Cut back on the caffeine. We know it’s tough. Those late nights and early mornings make it impossible to keep your eyelids open. But cutting down on the caffeine will make you far less irritable and in return, way more patient.
5. Look at the big picture. Try to take a step back and realize that  the person who’s late may have a valid reason. They’re most likely not doing anything to intentionally annoy you. A different angle on your situation may help you understand better and not be so quick to get annoyed..
6. Keep a record. Every you time you start feeling yourself grow impatient, mark it down. Tally up the totals at the end of the day, then the week, then the month. Just being aware of how often you’re losing your patience is a big first step.
7. Plan ahead. Once you’re aware of your triggers, do your best to avoid them, or to help offset them. If you know your co-worker is always two days late with an assignment, then next time around give him a fake deadline two days earlier.
8. Take a walk. Head outside your building and take a walk around the block. The fresh air will do you good; you’ll have time to cool down a bit, and by the time you return, you’ll be a few minutes closer to having your problem solved.
9. Be a teacher. You may have talked to this person multiple times already but he keeps making the same mistakes with every assignment. Try to explain to him why you get so frustrated and impatient. Spell it out, but be sure to remove all emotion from your discussion. Just lay it out matter of factly, and hopefully he’ll get it and perhaps be a bit better the next time around.
10. Get a stress ball. Keep a stress ball in your desk (or on it!) and any time you feel your patience slipping away, give the ball a squeeze.
11. Hit the gym. If you can swing it, head over to your local gym during lunch and blow off some steam. You’ll get your frustration out and the endorphins will kick in to help relieve some of your stress as well.
12. Practice yoga. Start taking yoga classes or get in the habit of performing some yoga moves at home. This will relax you in general, and also teach you some positions you can try at the office when you start feeling hot under the collar.

It has never been easy to be patient, but it's probably harder now than at any time in history. In a world where messages and information can be sent across the world instantly, everything is available with only a few clicks of the mouse. Fortunately, patience is a virtue that can be cultivated and nurtured over time. You will be pleasantly surprised by how relaxation and peace of mind can impact the quality of your life.

Figure Out What Makes You Impatient

1. Try to figure out why you are in such a hurry. We tend to lose our patience when we're multitasking or when we're on a tight schedule, expecting the day to pass within (what it seems like...) only a few short minutes of busyness and chaos. If you're stretching yourself too thin, you should reconsider your to-do list before you attempt to change your natural reaction to an overwhelming situation. Try to spread out your tasks so that you're doing only one thing at a time, without leaving yourself twiddling your thumbs in eagerness of something to busy yourself with. Delegate responsibilities to others if you can; this in itself may be a test of your patience, but you have to learn to share the load.
2. Pinpoint the triggers that often influence you to lose your patience. Impatience creeps in insidiously, and if you feel anxious, worried, or unhappy you may not even realize that the underlying cause of these feelings is impatience. To reduce the frequency of impatience, it helps to be aware of it. Which events, people, phrases or circumstances always seem to influence you lose your cool? Sit down and make a list of all the things which cause you anxiety, tension, or frustration. At the core of most triggers is a reality that we have a hard time accepting. What are those realities for you?
3. Look for patterns. Being aware of your impatience also gives you a chance to learn from it and perhaps uncover a relationship or circumstance that is simply not healthy or constructive, and that you may have the power to change. Figure that out, and you can then think logically about the problem issue and decide whether or not your impatience is warranted or helpful. It usually isn't, but when it is you can then figure out ways to fix the root problem rather than simply feeling stressed about it.

Write it Down

1. Keep a journal. For one to two weeks, whenever you get that rushed feeling and the sense of impatience, write down whatever it is that feeling is associated with (Example: July 1 - astronomy class). Make sure that you take notes consistently and consecutively each time the feeling occurs. You will notice that you are more aware of (and subsequently more prepared for) the feeling of impatience. You will also be able to observe the sense of impatience objectively and which events give rise to it. You may come to the conclusion that circumstances surrounding the feeling are not causing you angst - the feeling itself is. In these ways, you will be able to better control impatience when it besets you.

Overcoming Impatience

1. Overcome bouts of impatience. In the long run, developing patience requires a change in your attitude about life, but you can immediately make progress by learning to relax whenever you feel impatient. Take a few deep breaths and just try to clear your mind. Concentrate on breathing and you'll be able to get your bearings.
2. Let go if you can't do anything about the impatience trigger. If there isn't anything that you can do to resolve whatever has triggered your impatience, just let it go. Easier said than done, yes, but it's possible, and it's the only healthy thing to do. Initially, you will probably find it difficult to let go if the matter is important to you - waiting to hear back after a job interview, for instance - but you should be able to alleviate impatience that's caused by issues of less consequence (i.e. waiting in line at the grocery store). If you make a concerted effort to be more patient in relatively inconsequential, short-term situations, you'll gradually develop the strength to remain patient in even the most trying and enduring situations.

See the Big Picture

1. Remind yourself that things take time. People who are impatient are people who insist on getting things done now and don't like to waste time. However, some things just can't be rushed. Think about your happiest memories. Chances are, they were instances when your patience paid off, like when you worked steadily toward a goal that wasn't immediately gratifying, or took a little extra time to spend leisurely with a loved one. Would you have those memories if you had been impatient? Probably not. Almost anything really good in life takes time and dedication, and if you're impatient, you're more likely to give up on relationships, goals, and other things that are important to you. Good things may not always come to those who wait, but most good things that do come don't come right away.
2. Remember what matters. Not focusing on what matters most in this life fuels impatience. Move the world toward peace by being kind, generous in forgiveness of others, being grateful for what is, and taking full advantage of what matters most. When other less important things fuel our impatience, taking time to remember any one of these items reduces our tendency to want something different right now.
3. Always remember that you will eventually get what you want. (This requires maturity and patience to understand and accept!) If you work hard at something, this may be the truth, but most of the time you have to be patient to get what you want. For others, this may come as easy, but the only thing that matters is that you know how to occupy yourself, even in the dead of times. Just remember, patience is a mental skill that you will never forget, so cherish patience as a major step for you in life. Impatience is something not to be proud of, but something that you should attempt to train yourself out of, before it is something that overthrows your life.
4. Always have a positive outlook in life. Being always positive is very imperative as possessing a sense of patience. Remember that life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Step Back

1. Expect the unexpected. Yes, you have plans, but things don't always work out as planned. Accept the twist and turns in life gracefully. Keep your expectations realistic. This applies not only to circumstances, but also the behavior of those around you. If you find yourself blowing up over your child or your spouse accidentally spilling a drink, you're not in touch with the fact that people aren't perfect. Even if the occasion is not an isolated incident but is instead caused by their repeated neglect and carelessness, losing your patience isn't going to make it any better. That's something to be addressed with discussion and self-control.
2. Give yourself a break. The meaning of this is twofold. First, take a few minutes to do absolutely nothing. Just sit quietly and think. Don't watch television; don't even read. Do nothing. It may be hard at first, and you may even feel impatient after a minute or two, but by taking some time out you can essentially slow your world down, and that's important to develop the attitude necessary to develop patience. Second, stop holding yourself and the world around you to unreachable standards. Sure, we'd all be more patient if babies didn't cry, dishes didn't break, computers didn't crash, and people didn't make mistakes - but that's never going to happen. Expecting the world to run smoothly is like beating your head against the wall. Give yourself a break!

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 Tips

• Boredom can make it difficult to be patient. If you're waiting in the doctor's office and the only thing you can concentrate on is the ticking clock, good luck trying to be patient. If, however, you can read a book or do a crossword puzzle, time will fly by (or at least creep less slowly). If you've nothing to do while you're waiting, just try to appreciate the fact that you have nothing to do. In a fast-paced world, opportunities to do nothing are rare and should be cherished for their time to be un~bothered by minor things.
• Once you are able to change your attitude so that you are a patient person, you will find that patience can help you endure any tribulation, no matter how long-lasting or difficult. More importantly, perhaps, patience can help you achieve your goals.
• Many people find that meditation and yoga helps patience.
• Being patient with others is a form of respect for them. Nobody is perfect, and if you want to be a good parent, boss, spouse, or friend, it's important to recognize this and to be patient with people. "Don't sweat the small stuff" is a good motto. You and everyone around you will be more relaxed and able to get along much better.
• Developing patience is not easy, and you've got to be motivated to become more patient. You can do it, however, and you should. Patience can reduce your stress levels and improve your health and longevity, and patience can actually make you happier. Whenever you find yourself growing impatient, think about the positive effects of patience, and remember that impatience only makes things worse.
• Instead of becoming annoyed by a distraction (such as a crying baby on a long flight), try just being a passive observer. If you make it daily practice to observe things and events without judging or forming an opinion, being able to acknowledge something without allowing it to annoy you will become easier with time.
• Remember, for every minute you are angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness.
• One way to release stress is to write about it. Studies have shown that people who write about their emotions tend to become more calm and learn to accept the emotions that they are experiencing. so, the next time you feel angry, just write about it and try to meditate over why you would be so angry.
• A quote from James Clavell's novel, Shogun: “Karma is the beginning of knowledge. Next is patience. Patience is very important. The strong are the patient ones. Patience means holding back your inclination to the seven emotions: Hate, adoration, joy, anxiety, anger, grief, fear. If you don’t give way to the seven, you’re patient, then you’ll soon understand all manner of things and be in harmony with eternity.”

Warnings

• Patience should be no excuse for procrastination. While patience can help you be okay with doing nothing, it's important to understand that idleness breeds impatience and stress.
• Be patient with others who display little patience. If you seemed to feel bothered too much by them, make an excuse to locate yourself somewhere else and take a break from their anxiety-inducing behavior.