Thursday, June 28, 2012

12 Ways to be More Patient at Work

The office can certainly be a stressful place. Deadlines. Phones ringing. Meetings. Just the normal routine is enough to raise your stress levels. But when you don’t have complete control of your project, well, you can quickly lose control of your emotions.

Patience is one of the hardest skills to master for any employee. Most jobs rely on at least some form of cooperation with co-workers and that’s where the problems fall. You’re fast and efficient. You’re ready to crunch those numbers and hand those monthly reports in. But you can’t. Not until Bill in accounting gives you his final numbers. And he’s two days late. Again. Sometimes, you just can’t take it anymore.

Whether it’s waiting on information from a co-worker or someone simply not understanding your directions even though you painfully explained the procedure to them umpteen times already, stress is a part of life. It seems to thrive quite well in an office environment too. But rather than getting all steamed up to the point you just can’t take it anymore, there are plenty of things you can do to calm the beast within.

Identifying your triggers is a great start. Realize what sets your impatience meter off and try to avoid those situations as best you can. That’s not always doable, though. So when you feel your patience slipping through your fingers, try some of these tactics:
  1. Just breathe. Take some deep slow breaths, in and out. This will help slow your heart rate down and hopefully take your mind temporarily off your trigger.
  2. Count to 10. Similar to deep breaths, this will slow you and your heart rate down, and more importantly clear your mind. If you’re really hot under the collar, count higher or do a few sets of 10.
  3. Relax your shoulders. You can do this one standing up or right in your desk chair. Just raise your shoulders and hold for three seconds, then slowly drop them down. Repeat a number of times until you feel the tension leave your body.
  4. Cut back on the caffeine. We know it’s tough. Those late nights and early mornings make it impossible to keep your eyelids open. But cutting down on the caffeine will make you far less irritable and in return, way more patient.
  5. Look at the big picture. Try to take a step back and realize that  the person who’s late may have a valid reason. They’re most likely not doing anything to intentionally annoy you. A different angle on your situation may help you understand better and not be so quick to get annoyed..
  6. Keep a record. Every you time you start feeling yourself grow impatient, mark it down. Tally up the totals at the end of the day, then the week, then the month. Just being aware of how often you’re losing your patience is a big first step.
  7. Plan ahead. Once you’re aware of your triggers, do your best to avoid them, or to help offset them. If you know your co-worker is always two days late with an assignment, then next time around give him a fake deadline two days earlier.
  8. Take a walk. Head outside your building and take a walk around the block. The fresh air will do you good; you’ll have time to cool down a bit, and by the time you return, you’ll be a few minutes closer to having your problem solved.
  9. Be a teacher. You may have talked to this person multiple times already but he keeps making the same mistakes with every assignment. Try to explain to him why you get so frustrated and impatient. Spell it out, but be sure to remove all emotion from your discussion. Just lay it out matter of factly, and hopefully he’ll get it and perhaps be a bit better the next time around.
  10. Get a stress ball. Keep a stress ball in your desk (or on it!) and any time you feel your patience slipping away, give the ball a squeeze.
  11. Hit the gym. If you can swing it, head over to your local gym during lunch and blow off some steam. You’ll get your frustration out and the endorphins will kick in to help relieve some of your stress as well.
  12. Practice yoga. Start taking yoga classes or get in the habit of performing some yoga moves at home. This will relax you in general, and also teach you some positions you can try at the office when you start feeling hot under the collar.

Friday, June 15, 2012

It has never been easy to be patient, but it's probably harder now than at any time in history. In a world where messages and information can be sent across the world instantly, everything is available with only a few clicks of the mouse. Fortunately, patience is a virtue that can be cultivated and nurtured over time. You will be pleasantly surprised by how relaxation and peace of mind can impact the quality of your life.

Figure Out What Makes You Impatient

  1. Try to figure out why you are in such a hurry. We tend to lose our patience when we're multitasking or when we're on a tight schedule, expecting the day to pass within (what it seems like...) only a few short minutes of busyness and chaos. If you're stretching yourself too thin, you should reconsider your to-do list before you attempt to change your natural reaction to an overwhelming situation. Try to spread out your tasks so that you're doing only one thing at a time, without leaving yourself twiddling your thumbs in eagerness of something to busy yourself with. Delegate responsibilities to others if you can; this in itself may be a test of your patience, but you have to learn to share the load.
  2. Pinpoint the triggers that often influence you to lose your patience. Impatience creeps in insidiously, and if you feel anxious, worried, or unhappy you may not even realize that the underlying cause of these feelings is impatience. To reduce the frequency of impatience, it helps to be aware of it. Which events, people, phrases or circumstances always seem to influence you lose your cool? Sit down and make a list of all the things which cause you anxiety, tension, or frustration. At the core of most triggers is a reality that we have a hard time accepting. What are those realities for you?
  3. Look for patterns. Being aware of your impatience also gives you a chance to learn from it and perhaps uncover a relationship or circumstance that is simply not healthy or constructive, and that you may have the power to change. Figure that out, and you can then think logically about the problem issue and decide whether or not your impatience is warranted or helpful. It usually isn't, but when it is you can then figure out ways to fix the root problem rather than simply feeling stressed about it.

Write it Down

  1. Keep a journal. For one to two weeks, whenever you get that rushed feeling and the sense of impatience, write down whatever it is that feeling is associated with (Example: July 1 - astronomy class). Make sure that you take notes consistently and consecutively each time the feeling occurs. You will notice that you are more aware of (and subsequently more prepared for) the feeling of impatience. You will also be able to observe the sense of impatience objectively and which events give rise to it. You may come to the conclusion that circumstances surrounding the feeling are not causing you angst - the feeling itself is. In these ways, you will be able to better control impatience when it besets you.

Overcoming Impatience

  1. Overcome bouts of impatience. In the long run, developing patience requires a change in your attitude about life, but you can immediately make progress by learning to relax whenever you feel impatient. Take a few deep breaths and just try to clear your mind. Concentrate on breathing and you'll be able to get your bearings.
  2. Let go if you can't do anything about the impatience trigger. If there isn't anything that you can do to resolve whatever has triggered your impatience, just let it go. Easier said than done, yes, but it's possible, and it's the only healthy thing to do. Initially, you will probably find it difficult to let go if the matter is important to you - waiting to hear back after a job interview, for instance - but you should be able to alleviate impatience that's caused by issues of less consequence (i.e. waiting in line at the grocery store). If you make a concerted effort to be more patient in relatively inconsequential, short-term situations, you'll gradually develop the strength to remain patient in even the most trying and enduring situations.

See the Big Picture

  1. Remind yourself that things take time. People who are impatient are people who insist on getting things done now and don't like to waste time. However, some things just can't be rushed. Think about your happiest memories. Chances are, they were instances when your patience paid off, like when you worked steadily toward a goal that wasn't immediately gratifying, or took a little extra time to spend leisurely with a loved one. Would you have those memories if you had been impatient? Probably not. Almost anything really good in life takes time and dedication, and if you're impatient, you're more likely to give up on relationships, goals, and other things that are important to you. Good things may not always come to those who wait, but most good things that do come don't come right away.
  2. Remember what matters. Not focusing on what matters most in this life fuels impatience. Move the world toward peace by being kind, generous in forgiveness of others, being grateful for what is, and taking full advantage of what matters most. When other less important things fuel our impatience, taking time to remember any one of these items reduces our tendency to want something different right now.
  3. Always remember that you will eventually get what you want. (This requires maturity and patience to understand and accept!) If you work hard at something, this may be the truth, but most of the time you have to be patient to get what you want. For others, this may come as easy, but the only thing that matters is that you know how to occupy yourself, even in the dead of times. Just remember, patience is a mental skill that you will never forget, so cherish patience as a major step for you in life. Impatience is something not to be proud of, but something that you should attempt to train yourself out of, before it is something that overthrows your life.
  4. Always have a positive outlook in life. Being always positive is very imperative as possessing a sense of patience. Remember that life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Step Back

  1. Expect the unexpected. Yes, you have plans, but things don't always work out as planned. Accept the twist and turns in life gracefully. Keep your expectations realistic. This applies not only to circumstances, but also the behavior of those around you. If you find yourself blowing up over your child or your spouse accidentally spilling a drink, you're not in touch with the fact that people aren't perfect. Even if the occasion is not an isolated incident but is instead caused by their repeated neglect and carelessness, losing your patience isn't going to make it any better. That's something to be addressed with discussion and self-control.
  2. Give yourself a break. The meaning of this is twofold. First, take a few minutes to do absolutely nothing. Just sit quietly and think. Don't watch television; don't even read. Do nothing. It may be hard at first, and you may even feel impatient after a minute or two, but by taking some time out you can essentially slow your world down, and that's important to develop the attitude necessary to develop patience. Second, stop holding yourself and the world around you to unreachable standards. Sure, we'd all be more patient if babies didn't cry, dishes didn't break, computers didn't crash, and people didn't make mistakes - but that's never going to happen. Expecting the world to run smoothly is like beating your head against the wall. Give yourself a break!


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 Tips

  • Boredom can make it difficult to be patient. If you're waiting in the doctor's office and the only thing you can concentrate on is the ticking clock, good luck trying to be patient. If, however, you can read a book or do a crossword puzzle, time will fly by (or at least creep less slowly). If you've nothing to do while you're waiting, just try to appreciate the fact that you have nothing to do. In a fast-paced world, opportunities to do nothing are rare and should be cherished for their time to be un~bothered by minor things.
  • Once you are able to change your attitude so that you are a patient person, you will find that patience can help you endure any tribulation, no matter how long-lasting or difficult. More importantly, perhaps, patience can help you achieve your goals.
  • Many people find that meditation and yoga helps patience.
  • Being patient with others is a form of respect for them. Nobody is perfect, and if you want to be a good parent, boss, spouse, or friend, it's important to recognize this and to be patient with people. "Don't sweat the small stuff" is a good motto. You and everyone around you will be more relaxed and able to get along much better.
  • Developing patience is not easy, and you've got to be motivated to become more patient. You can do it, however, and you should. Patience can reduce your stress levels and improve your health and longevity, and patience can actually make you happier. Whenever you find yourself growing impatient, think about the positive effects of patience, and remember that impatience only makes things worse.
  • Instead of becoming annoyed by a distraction (such as a crying baby on a long flight), try just being a passive observer. If you make it daily practice to observe things and events without judging or forming an opinion, being able to acknowledge something without allowing it to annoy you will become easier with time.
  • Remember, for every minute you are angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness.
  • One way to release stress is to write about it. Studies have shown that people who write about their emotions tend to become more calm and learn to accept the emotions that they are experiencing. so, the next time you feel angry, just write about it and try to meditate over why you would be so angry.
  • A quote from James Clavell's novel, Shogun: “Karma is the beginning of knowledge. Next is patience. Patience is very important. The strong are the patient ones. Patience means holding back your inclination to the seven emotions: Hate, adoration, joy, anxiety, anger, grief, fear. If you don’t give way to the seven, you’re patient, then you’ll soon understand all manner of things and be in harmony with eternity.”

Warnings

  • Patience should be no excuse for procrastination. While patience can help you be okay with doing nothing, it's important to understand that idleness breeds impatience and stress.
  • Be patient with others who display little patience. If you seemed to feel bothered too much by them, make an excuse to locate yourself somewhere else and take a break from their anxiety-inducing behavior.